A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

silly rabbit, rape is for babies

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

HTML

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the gay man order at Starbucks? Delicious, handcrafted beverages and great-tasting food. The secret to making life better.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Ask me if I'm a peanut. Are you a peanut? Yes. Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No, I'm a peanut.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down

The battle of Troy lasted approximatley nine years.

thumb_up thumb_down

What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

thumb_up thumb_down

knock knock, who's there, white, white who, white van, RUN!

thumb_up thumb_down

My name is never spelt right so its all good

thumb_up thumb_down

Dani Barton is a heart breaking 13 yr old.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you know Dr Pepper isn't really a doctor?

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops