The Treatment of Steve Bartman

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What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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helen keller's dad put a plunger in the toilet and left it there. helen then went to use the bathroom....

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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What did dean carmon say to his brother? - I don't know I'm not his brother

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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your joke is so unoriginal. i had heard the joke before.

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When I see Debra walking her dog in the morning I often ask myself whose walking who!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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