A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

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.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

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One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walk into a bar. They are good interracial friends that like to put down some brewski's with eachother

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

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Yes. Just Yes.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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"Up to 50% off."

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What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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I ate a pancake for breakfast not

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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What do you call a gay African American Jewish German flight attendant who is addicted to many hard drugs? His name.

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According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

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R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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