A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What is worse than bitting in to an apple and finding a worm? A: Bitting in to a worm and finding an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw a fridge at it

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock Who's there Ummmm....me u r looking right at me O yeah Ummm... Now what U knocked? No. O Ye Ok Alright cya

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A woman should not be in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walk into a bar. They are good interracial friends that like to put down some brewski's with eachother

thumb_up thumb_down +16

di you hear about the man that got his whole left side cut off? no well he died

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops