A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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Rebecca Black

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What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

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Ha

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Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

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What's black and full of coke? a bottle of coca-cola

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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Anti jokes.

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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