what's funnier than hell? heaven

thumb_up thumb_down -55

"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

thumb_up thumb_down +72

How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

thumb_up thumb_down +52

penis hehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +50

baby loves lalma

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What abou three times

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

There is this dylectic who can't spell.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops