What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems are pointless Refrigerator.

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Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops