Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

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You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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That didn't hurt.

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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