Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Gestapo.

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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Cassie Mills you are gay stop being silly in class you're not funny.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

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What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff. whats blue and fluffy? pink fluff holding its breath.

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How do you starve a black family? Hide there government assistance card under their work boots!

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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Knock knock What

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops