What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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How do magnets work?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I ate your horse.

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Doctor: your mom has cancerous aids Me:*sob*

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There's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is there isn't any good news.

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What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

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Why did the boy die at his Halloween party? He was the victim of a drive-by.

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Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

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Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor. The results came back, and you have brain cancer.

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Jay Leno: The economy is so bad.. Audience: how bad is it?! Jay Leno: Very bad.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? How dumb are you?

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Whats big, ugly, and sucks? Death.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell an Anti-Joke.

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Q. What is worse than having 100 dead babies nailed to a tree? A. Having 100 dead trees nailed to a baby.

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A man is cheating on his wife. His wife finds out and is instantly distressed and begins to cry.

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Why did the man die from drinking the water? It wasn't water, it was acid.

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You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

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Hi Jacob You cool

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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why is your hair black? it was heretitery.

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My Japanese girlfriend just broke up with me. It's okay, there's more of them in the sea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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