Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

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you will now laugh.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Women's football

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you know what hurts.... PAIN

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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