What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

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Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

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Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

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Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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A man walks into a bar. He says ow

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

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What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

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What is next?

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

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Yo mamma's handwriting is so bad that its barely legible to most people!

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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