A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, help! My hair is falling out! I need something to keep it in!" The doctor says, "sure. Here's some medicine."

What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

The Bible

Why did the 15 year old girl not enjoy her taco? Because the man making her taco was kid napped and replaced with a female that forgot to put cheese on it.

What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

Anti jokes.

What happens when you pour Red Bull on a butterfly without wings? It drowns......

What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

How do you starve a black family? Hide there government assistance card under their work boots!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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