why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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stop it ryan vallee

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what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

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A British man walks into a dental office.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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like for a handjob.

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1234 5

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a catholic priest and a young boy

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I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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