Hey i just met you and this is crazy i suck at rhyming door knob

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

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Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

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Yes. Just Yes.

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What did the man do with his bread He ate it

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Your mother is a man.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

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What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

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"Up to 50% off."

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What do you say to a man who isnt funny You're not fuuny

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What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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whats pale and white your ass.

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Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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