Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

thumb_up thumb_down +5

(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Woman's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, YELP! Whimper Whimper... Hey man, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

1500 Jews were ordered to walk along a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops