Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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Gestapo.

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Penis jokes.

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Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

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THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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Child birth. So easy women can do it.

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What is the difference between a hore and a wife? The hore serves you...

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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