Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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whats funny? ebola and 911

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What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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Gestapo.

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What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

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women

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Don't think of granny porn

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Is this a chair?

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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