Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

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What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Not at all, I find your perception of things like that quite pleasing, you obviously care about me, and care about your wife, that's nice.

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How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

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Why didn't the boy finish his homework? He was in a coma.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because he was a pussy.

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666

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Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

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A man farted. Another man walked away.

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A black guy moves in to your neighborhood. The housing values plummet due to the current economic recession.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sweats, it is more than the normal amount of sweat.

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There once was an X from place B, Who satisfied predicate P, Then X did thing A, In a specified way, Resulting in circumstance C.

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Why did the blonde put tip-ex on the computer screen? To spite her physically abusive husband

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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