Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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The Treatment of Steve Bartman

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Paul Dylan King!

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

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A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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