Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

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Why do white people wear black shirts? Why do black people wear white shirts?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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Gestapo.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

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Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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Child birth. So easy women can do it.

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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