What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

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Q: Why was the duck hands down hilarious? A: It wasn't, ducks don't have hands and with human beings able to be equipped with emotions such as to see an object or living organism as funny, do not view these mammals in a humorous manner.

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

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Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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Dick spice

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her statement.

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http://anti-joke.com/

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2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

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knock knock

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

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How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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