Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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How did Jonny die We don't know he was never found

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How come Michael Jackson can draw a perfect circle? He likes little BOYS.

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I was in the grocery store on a sunday afternoon, and i saw a black man. To my surprise, HE DIDN'T BUY ANY FRIED CHICKEN?!?!

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Charlie morgans a pussy EDEN HAZARDS A TANK

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what is more annoying than finding a worm in your apple? An asian kid with ADHD.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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What do you call a black man with a well paid job? A sucess and a credit to himself and his family

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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Q: Why did the plain crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. By: LV

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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Whats worse then a pile of dead babies? One live baby at the bottom, eating its way out.

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A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

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Whats the worse than dieing of cancer, dieing alone and having AIDS

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Why didn't Erick have a party last week? Because his grandma died

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

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Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

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A: Knock knock. B: <>

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what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

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Why did the little boy drop his Ice cream? He had no arms(:

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12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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