Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Blonde Entrepeneurs

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

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69

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What did the girl say to the guy raping her? Stop.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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h

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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