What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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what did the kid say when pee-wee was about to rape him ...huh just make it quick

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Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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What is the saddest episode on tv ever? The live broadcast of the World Trade Center being destroyed.

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Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Hitler: I said PASS THE JUICE! not GAS THE JEWS!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

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Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops