roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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whats better than 24................. 25

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

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what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

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What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

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why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

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People with the best sense of humor visit anti-joke.com.

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why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

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*you're

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

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Roses Are Blue Violets Are Purple Black is Purple Im colorblind

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Knock, knock. Come in.......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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