What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

Bin Laden comes out of a cave

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

Why are black people so good at sports? Because there black.

I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

your mom is so lesbian that in prder to have you she planted a seed in her vagina because she refused to have sex with a man

knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

How do u shit With ur ass

What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...