What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

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why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

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save water shower with friends

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

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AHAHAHAHAHA XD I cant for the life of me imagine Donald Duck accusing anyone of being a seducer XD, my eyes are tearing up XD If I do not type anything more, its because I died of laughter and joy XD But those "cartoons" where made for adults, ever seen steamboat Willie? That is one of my favorites, I always liked Mickey Mouse a bit better, Donald kinda changed a lot.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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