Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

PUDDING

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Take my wife- to the store.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Black Man walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Compton

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a person with no life. Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? I want to eat you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your tits are nice

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops