Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

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What happened to the man that jumped off the cliff. He died....

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why did the man cross the road? Because he needed to cross the road to reach his destination that was across the road

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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