What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

Knock knock? Who's there? The WNBA. LOL

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

Why did the bunny eat his food

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

Why did the jew tie his shoes? because his shoes were untied

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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