A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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Chapter 6 : The pimp ``scooby`` tells how delivered the poor young people to people with money.

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What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

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there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

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A British man walks into a dental office.

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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