Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did Max cry??? chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops