Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Their skin color and bank accounts.

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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An blind orphan in an impoverished Irish village develops both AIDS and terminal cancer. You laughed a little at that. You are going to hell.

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WILSON!!!!!!!!!

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Lil' Wayne

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Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

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What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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HARRY EFFING STYLES

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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