Why did John scream when he came in to his bedroom? He stepped on a nail

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girls are a lot like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tied to the first monkey.

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what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

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why is your hair black? it was heretitery.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. To get to the other side.

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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So a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a beer

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I have to tell you something. What? I just told you something.

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Knock knock *No one was home*

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Once upon a time.

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what do you call a guy with a huge dick ? hugedickasorus

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Chuck Norris. Alright come in.

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what did the pregnant black woman say to the white man I'm pregnant

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like facebook.com/john maon

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dfghfgdfhfdhfgdfghdfh

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where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

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k

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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Ben Colbert is gay

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Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny and frankly, I do not see why people think they are so funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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