If someone throws a fridge at the boy then they must be exceptionally strong because fridges weigh more than the average human can lift therefor he has a good future ahead of him but will have to live with the fact that he hurt a small child

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What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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Why did the blonde fall off of the swing? Because someone threw a machete and it made contact with her skull, thus causing a painful break and rapid blood loss, making it virtually impossible to remain sitting upright.

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Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

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What iz stupid? Hibiyav

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What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

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Chuck Norris.

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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Sarah got hit by a bus.... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Susie has Autism

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Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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