Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag? No, because plastic bags are man-made inanimate objects.

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The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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Whats brown and sticky? Anal sex

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What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

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What do u call a black guy with a gun? A police officer u racist bastard

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Chuck Norris

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This one time, at band camp we played in a band

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Two black people jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Well, it depends on how many Jews there are and what kind of car it is.

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How did the dragon get AIDS? He had sex with an HIV positive dragon months prior.

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i love antijokes

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DON'T expect the unexpected, you don't want to KILL the unexpected ;-)

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What's worse than death? Not a lot!

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Why couldn't sally drive her car? Because sally is a girl.

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What is Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

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why did the bear go into the woods to get shot

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Why was the chimp late for his flight? Because chimps arent allowed through airport security.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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What is underneath Chuck Norris' Beard? His Chin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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