Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

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Where's my tractor?

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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Is this a chair?

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

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A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

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An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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