So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why you so fat... Because you have an eating problem fatass...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

joe diragi makes paul look straight

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Take my wife- to the store.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Penis!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the man do with his bread He ate it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was six afraid of seven? Because SEVEN-FIVE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Oprah is black and the richest women in the world!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops