I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

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What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

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Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

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Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

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yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

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like for a handjob.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

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Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

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How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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Your mother is so old that she is dead.

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A: B: No pun intended.

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yo mamas so ugly she makes blind children cry

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What's red and u drink it Koolaid

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Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

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How much Cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? A lot!

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A Girl Who was very close to er grandmother got a text from her mom who was very new to texting, she thought lol meant "Lots Of Love" wel it turns out the Girl's Grandmother Passed away Sunday Morning And the Mom sent the text to the girl saying " Your Grandmother Got hit by a truck and died lol" the Girl Killed Herself that night becasue Of her mom, LESSON LEARNED< LEARN HOW TO TEXT.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

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If someone throws a fridge at the boy then they must be exceptionally strong because fridges weigh more than the average human can lift therefor he has a good future ahead of him but will have to live with the fact that he hurt a small child

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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Someone listens to an anti joke. They laugh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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