A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems are pointless Refrigerator.

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Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

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Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

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cory is gay

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Susie has Autism

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Whats funnier than a jew holding a nickel. Nothing. Jews are cheap.

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why are gays soo happy , becuase the dont have to listen to women

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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Hey, name is Anita, I am Nero`s nurse, he told me to say that if you wish to speak any further, you are going to have to call him and prove you are not some guy. Say Tifa, do you ever play videogames?

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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