Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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why are niggers afraid of the dark ? because they think that darkness is the only black thing there

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A seal walks into a club.

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Ha

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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jeremie er en ape hvorfor er han det? Who cares!

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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whats really hot the sun

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whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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