really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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dear GIRLS, roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad i will be there too not in the cage but laughing at u .

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if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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Baseball

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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So horse walk into a bar. The barkeep says "Look horse. You cant be in Here. You're too big and you're going to hurt someone....Its just not gonna work out."

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h

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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World Peace

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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