A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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A man. That is all.

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if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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What do you call 4 black people at a kfc? A family sitting down for there evening meal

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what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

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Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

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Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

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stop it ryan vallee

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I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

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Your mother is so old that she is dead.

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Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

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How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

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You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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like for a handjob.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

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Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

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What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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