Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? Fix it, call a repair man, call the landlord, do the dishes by hand or don't do them at all... your options are endless.

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Why did the pig fly cuz his wife is a bitch

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

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What's Worse then an apple with a worm? The holocaust

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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A white man and a black woman run for president The Black woman received 65% of all woman votes, 75% of all Hispanics and 99% of all black votes. The White man still won, and was a great president.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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