why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

I avhe dyiaexls.

What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

The Holocaust

Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

Paul Dylan King!

Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

democracy

There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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