What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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Your social life

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops