When god hands you lemons .. you find a new god.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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2 Jews walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks and call a cab to get home

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A kid walked into a bar, but was kicked out immediately as state law mandates you must be 21 to be withing 12 feet of an operable bar.

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What do you call a black man digging a hole in the ground with a body covered in blood, bruises and stab marks next to him? An gardener, he uses a different type of fertiliser.

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Q:How many Jews can you fit in a car? A:Two in the front, two in the back, and however many will fit in the ashtray.

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A black man walks into a book store.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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what is more annoying than finding a worm in your apple? An asian kid with ADHD.

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Hi

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Whats worse than receiving a dollar? Receiving a penny.

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Why did the little boy fall down? Because he was shot.

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What's easier to get than a broke prostitute on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

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What starts with P and ends in O-R-N? Popcorn.

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I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

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Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made. This market has a very dynamic and fresh selection.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a pair of curtains... Well don't worry, you've come to the right place. We'll get you the help you need.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Stephen Hawking can walk

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

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wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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If anybody wants a free RuneScape account, the username is Antbongton and the password is fluckaduck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops