Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a pair of curtains... Well don't worry, you've come to the right place. We'll get you the help you need.

Asians

Why did the girl run across the street? Because she was being chased by a man with a knife

A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a joke.

Why did the Chicken commit suicide Because he Ms. Reed

the real mccoy

How did Jonny die We don't know he was never found

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Chuck Norris. Alright come in.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because skeletons are no longer sentient beings and cannot move.

How do you get twenty black men in a tiny car? Saw them into pieces.

where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

How come Michael Jackson can draw a perfect circle? He likes little BOYS.

There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

Why didn't Erick have a party last week? Because his grandma died

A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

What do you call a strait man that is also gay? Bisexual.

Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

Why did the little boy drop his Ice cream? He had no arms(:

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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