*you're

Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

whats dirtier than lady gaga's penis in justin bieber's vagina? nothing.

When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

What do you call a black person that went to medical school? A doctor

penis that is all

Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

whats better than 24................. 25

What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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