why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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how do you fall off a building? you trip.

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Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

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Knock Knock Come in. Come in who? You're a dumbass.

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

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Yo mamma's handwriting is so bad that its barely legible to most people!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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