Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

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A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

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Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Blonde Entrepeneurs

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

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What did the girl say to the guy raping her? Stop.

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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