what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

69

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

Nah

What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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