Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

A Jew, homosexual and Irishman walk into a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

Anne Frank.

A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

Why do white people wear black shirts? Why do black people wear white shirts?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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