What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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What did dean carmon say to his brother? - I don't know I'm not his brother

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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why did Max cry??? chicken

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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What is a question?

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

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What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of one-on-one basketball in a common physical education class in present day mexico city.

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Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops