Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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Q: Why did the plain crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. By: LV

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What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Their skin color and bank accounts.

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who hooked up with Sinead Walker? • Liam Findlay

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what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

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A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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WILSON!!!!!!!!!

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Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

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A duck, a mailman, and a poet were contemplating suicide, then they changed their minds.

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Why did the Jew fall off a cliff? Someone pushed him

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

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Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... I guess no ones home.

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a black guy

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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