A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

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What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

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solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

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What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

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What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

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chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

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How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

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Why didn't the boy finish his homework? He was in a coma.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

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Knock Knock Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, YELP! Whimper Whimper... Hey man, come on in.

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What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

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Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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