How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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The Charlotte bobcats.

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

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Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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Billy isn't a homosexual, he just has sex with men. Billy has sex with men, because Billy's in prison.

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- Why a black man can not jump? - Because he broken his leg.

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

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An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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