Destiny was calling me, so I picked up the phone.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok.

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why did the small child drop his icecream? he was hit by a bus

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

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What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah Witness.

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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A man comes home early from work to find that his wife is in bed with another man, startled by his presence the wife quickly utters 'it's not what it looks like", the husband however, disregards this comment and later files for a divorce

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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A man walks into a bar, unfortunately his brain condition killed him after the swelling in his brain reached a point where his family had to unplug him from a machine putting him in a medically induced coma.

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what is more annoying than finding a worm in your apple? An asian kid with ADHD.

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How many people with ADD does it take to...Oh look! Shiny!!!

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin... Nothing they are muffins.

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Boobs are nasty!

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Sarah Palin is President

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i felt like burning some calories so i lit a fat kid on fire

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How did the kid drop his ice he got hit by a train Griffin Cholette

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What's white and very boney? A bone

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

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A white man and a black woman run for president The Black woman received 65% of all woman votes, 75% of all Hispanics and 99% of all black votes. The White man still won, and was a great president.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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