Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

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A: Knock knock. B: <>

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I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

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Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

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The same girl who got cancer for christmas had a birthday soon after, as a present She got kimo...but it failed

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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A white man and a black woman run for president The Black woman received 65% of all woman votes, 75% of all Hispanics and 99% of all black votes. The White man still won, and was a great president.

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What is this a book??!!! What am I supposed to do...... READ IT?????!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

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. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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